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Mom Burnout and Tips For How To Deal With It

Hey mama! I see you trying to be all things to all people. Trying to do everything and beating yourself up when you fail. I see you neglecting yourself so you can put everybody else first.  I see you telling everybody, “No, really, I’m fine.”

I see you because I am you, I was you. But I have to tell you something. You can’t keep going like this.  You are only human, and you can only do so much until your mind and body final say they’ve had enough.

That nagging feeling, that exhaustion, that irritation, that short temper?

These are all symptoms of mom burnout.

I’ve been there too, some days I’m still there, but I’m being more mindful and trying to take steps to prevent mom burnout before it happens.

It doesn’t matter if you’re a working mom or stay at home home or work from home mom. Mom burnout affects EVERY KIND OF MOM.

Here are some things I’ve been doing lately that have helped immensely.


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happy mom playing with toddler son


Care For Your Body To Avoid Burnout As A Mom


Self-care was one of the first things to go after having my son. I just didn’t have the time to take care of another person so obviously I focused my efforts on my little man.

However, you can’t pour from an empty cup. The only way to avoid mom burnout is to take care of yourself before that happens.

Self-care isn’t just about getting an occasional mani-pedi (although that’s always a great idea too) but actually taking steps to nourish and maintain your physical and mental health.


1. Drink More Water

drink more water to avoid burnout


Even before having a baby, my water intake wasn’t great. After baby, I totally neglected this simple trick to get you feeling better.

It’s tough trying to get that recommended 8 glasses a day so try to set yourself up for success.

Get yourself a large water bottle (this 1 gallon one is super cute) and fill it up at the start of your day. Keep it handy and just take sips throughout the day, refilling as needed. 

Just doing this one thing has helped my body feel less tired and avoid mom burnout. If I’m not staying hydrated, I often end up with a headache.
That’s your body telling you that you’ve waited too long.

You are 70% water so it just makes sense that your body would need you to constantly keep replenishing your supply.


2. Meal Prep To Create A Healthier Menu


Eating right is obviously very important but it’s just easier when you can grab something pre-made. Unfortunately, a lot of the pre-made stuff isn’t the best thing for your body.

Instead, try simple meal preps on the weekend to create a healthy menu for the whole week.  It doesn’t have to be super fancy, something as simple as your choice of carbs, a meat/protein and some veggies.

Pinterest has great guides with a huge variety to keep things interesting.  Here’s 10 weeknight meals you can make in 15 minutes for busy moms.

If you’re finding it difficult to eat healthy all the time, introduce a multi-vitamin into your routine to make sure you are getting everything you need.

The right nutrition can give your body the fuel it needs to avoid mom burnout.


3. Get Some Daily Exercise


I’m sure you’re thinking to yourself that this is the last thing you have time for. I feel you, I was the same way.

mom exercising to avoid burn out


But, don’t dismiss it just yet.

The boost of endorphins you get from a work out can keep you pumped all day and keep mom burnout at bay.  It’ll help you get back to your pre-baby bod and give you some much needed energy.

Even if you don’t have time for some crazy work out at the gym, start small. Even just going for a daily walk helps tons.

Add a few simple things you can do at home like sit-ups, stretching, yoga, or push-ups.

There are loads and loads of quick 10-20 minute at-home workout videos on Youtube.

I’ll usually do this full body one a few times a week.


4. Nourish Your Skin


Post-baby I found my skin to be super dry and lack luster. I wasn’t doing anything to help the situation so it continued getting worse and worse until I had constant flaking and peeling.

Adding a quick 5 minute skin-care routine for bedtime did wonders for my skin. Feeling better about myself helped with my mom burnout. 

Taking care of myself felt more like pampering myself because it had been so long.

Grab a simple kit that includes a cleanser, toner, serum and moisturizer. I LOVE The Ordinary 3 Piece Daily Set for this because it’s a steal of a deal and actually works!


Feed Your Soul: Having A Creative Outlet Can Help You Be A Happier Mom


Just like your body, your soul need some TLC too.

Before mom life took over, what used to set your soul on fire?

You need to MAKE the time to get back to these things.

For me, creating sets my soul on fire. I’m someone that needs a creative outlet for my soul to truly feel full. I started this blog to get back to the old me. 

So many things feed my soul but creating something where there was nothing is just so fulfilling to me. 

Mom burnout has decreased tremendously since I’ve committed time each week to doing things I love.


5. Meditation Can Help Overcome Mom Burnout and Fatigue

mom meditating for inner peace


Finding a moment of peace as a mom is near impossible, I know. But meditation doesn’t have to be a one-hour-sitting-in-the-dark kind of thing.

It can just be 5-10 minutes of mindful breathing and relaxation.

A moment where you forget about the millions of things that still need to be done and just focus on relaxation.

Even 10 minutes of meditation can have you feeling like you just took an hour nap.

6. Get Back To Your Hobbies


What’s something that you love to do? Something that makes you feel accomplished? Something that you are proud of?


You need to be doing more of this. For me, writing helps me work though my emotions so I find moments to jot down my musings.

I also love creating art through makeup. I don’t have the time for this everyday, but I try to set aside a few days a month to play with my palettes and create new looks.


7. Find Your Mom Tribe

4 supportive moms hugging each other because they are a mom tribe


Being a SAHM can feel lonely and isolating so I strongly urge you to make connections. There are so many community programs for moms and babies.

Get out there, meet people, connect! Sharing this journey has been so enriching. 

Even if you can’t find the time to join local mommy and me groups, find some online! There are so many supportive mom groups I’ve joined online through Facebook and Instagram.

These wonderful, supportive and helpful mamas make my day so much better. I don’t feel like I’m doing this thing alone.

Plus, whenever you’ve got a question, you’ve got access to a whole tribe for answers.

Having non-judgmental people to share your highs, lows, ups and downs is just the thing to cure mom burnout. Sometimes the feeling of isolation can lead to depressing thoughts.


8. Reconnect With Your Partner


Remember those care-free days of dating and romance? They’re probably long gone now. But, they don’t have to be.

I know, life gets busy and there isn’t enough time or money for dates anymore. But that doesn’t mean you can’t date your partner again.

Reconnecting with your significant other could be just what you need to get out of that mom burnout funk.

Getting dressed up and going out or even staying in but mindfully planning a date night every week could be the spark you need to rekindle the romance and feel like more than just mom again.

I know a lot of these require some effort and planning, but guess what? You are worth it! Do this for yourself. Future you will thank you later.


Practice Self Love


I feel like most women are such a supportive, uplifting, encouraging bunch. Except when it comes to ourselves. We are often our own worst critics, picking apart our appearance, our accomplishments and our failings.

Well, enough of that. You need to be your own best friend.  You need to be kinder to yourself, more forgiving and more understanding.


9. Ask For Help


If you’re anything like me, asking for help doesn’t come easy. I much rather just do it all myself than feel like I’m putting somebody else out.

But guess what?

I’ve found that most people really really want to help, but they don’t know what you need. So ask! Tell people what you need.

When somebody asks if you’re okay, it’s okay to be honest and say “no, I’m not.”

Delegate as much as you can and take things off your plate. When you stop trying to do EVERYTHING, you can do anything!

Mom burnouts are inevitable when you try to do too much.


10. Practice Positive Affirmations

positive affirmations for mothers


Getting back to that love yo self philosophy, when was the last time you said something nice to yourself?

Your words influence your thoughts, those thoughts influence your actions and those actions influence your behavior. It only makes sense then that you should be giving yourself positive encouragement every day.

Either say or write down one thing that you love about yourself or are proud of every day.

I like to keep a note on the refrigerator and add something each day. It’s a wonderful pick me up when I’m feeling down to see all the positives in my life.

Mom burnout happens because you don’t make yourself a priority.  You need to start telling yourself why you are!

If you need some direction with this, check out my post on positive affirmations and quotes for moms


11. Outsource If You Can


Like I was saying before, there’s only so many hours in a day and so much you can do. If at all possible, outsource whatever you can and take a few things off your plate.

Possibly hire a cleaning service to help out once or twice a month.

Try a meal-kit service to free up some time from always having to cook.

Maybe even opt for daycare a few days a week, if at all possible. 

Overloading your plate most definitely leads to mom burnout. Prioritize what things are most important to you and focus on those.


12. Get Dressed In The Mornings

mom practicing self care by applying makeup to avoid burnout as a mom


I’m guilty of living in my sweats. We’ve all been there, who has time to get ready just to stay home? What’s the point?

Well, I’ll tell  you.

When you look your best (or at least presentable) it often leads to feeling your best (or better).

I recently had a post-baby styling session with Kat Depner from Seven Styling to get me out of my frumpy sweats and over-sized Ts. I can’t tell you how amazing that experience was. It really got me to put some focus back on myself.

Since that session, I put more effort into making myself look and feel great.

Even if I’m just staying home, it’s nice to look in a mirror and love what I see. Nowadays, I see a beautiful, put-together mama instead of the hot-mess express.

Feeling confident again has helped push mom burnout away.


13. Treat Yo-Self

self care ideas for busy moms


I often forget that sometimes I need some papering too. I need to be taken care of too. I forget that I deserve it too.

It doesn’t have to be all the time, but give yourself the go-ahead to indulge once in a while. What’s your guilty pleasure? Give yourself a little love.

This could be treating yourself to that mani-pedi or massage.

Maybe catching up with your favourite Netflix shows with a glass of wine in hand (or the whole bottle because YOLO).

Or some retail therapy always makes me feel better.

  Give yourself a spa day, if you can afford to splurge head over to the spa, if you can’t, give yourself a spa day at home.

How about a home made face mask? Or a girls night out?

When you are constantly stuck in the day-to-day grind, it’s easy to become resentful and end up with mom burnout.

Mix it up every once in a while.


You Are Amazing, Mama! You are Enough!


I just want you to know that no matter what you struggled with today, you are an amazing mama.

Leave the mom guilt behind.

You can only expect to get back what you put in. So, put away the mom guilt and put some time aside for you.

You need to take care of you before you can take care of anyone else.

Make yourself a priority.

You don’t need to be super mom all the time.

Focus some time on you so you can make mom burnout a thing of the past.

mom and child playing super heros
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SHARING IS CARING!

Sara @Adidas Talent Recruitment Manager

Saturday 22nd of August 2020

Hi Cendu,

these are some great tips! I would love to talk more about a partnership opportunity. I'm a talent recruitment rep for Adidas and I think you could be a great fit. I love your writing style and personal tone. It is very persuasive yet relatable and fun. We're looking to connect with real moms who rock it all so it looks like you would be perfect! I'll be in touch via email to the email address in your contact list.

Thanks!

Iva

Thursday 21st of May 2020

Yes girl, those tips really help. As soon as I got beck to pilates, I started feeling like my old self.

Flossie McCowald

Thursday 30th of April 2020

These are all so important, especially when we are all stuck at home. It seems as if the whole family is just spending our whole day on our backsides doing work/schoolwork, so I've started setting a timer for hourly get-up-and-move breaks for the girls and me - but since I ALSO added some early-morning Mama exercise back in, too (even if it's just a walk around the neighborhood), I've been reminded how much I have missed that part of my self-care routine since we all went into lockdown!

Fatima Torres

Wednesday 29th of April 2020

Honestly, I couldn't agree more with this list of tips. When I'm hydrated, I feel better. When I throw in self-care it helps as well. I do a 10-15 minute self-care routine every night before bed to help unwind from the day.

Amy Gougler

Tuesday 28th of April 2020

I'm reading this during our time of quarantine and it couldn't have come at a better time! I'm feeling so burnt out having my two kids at home with me and being in early stages of pregnancy! I've been working out daily to help keep stress at bay (and because I love it), but I need to do a few other self care routines just for me. I love my babies so much, but being home and not able to get out is HARD! Thank you for sharing this Cendu. Great tips that I'm planning to dive into!