Angel of Mine

So here’s a bit about the center of my universe and the day he arrived. My pregnancy was a bit of a roller-coaster ride, both emotionally and physically. Sure, I had my cute preggo moments but they were few and far between. I didn’t take a lot of pictures because I really didn’t feel cute after about the 4-5 month mark. Word of advice: take those photos. I really wish I had put aside my insecurities and documented those days

I had a miscarriage just before I had him. He’s my rainbow baby. Because of my previous miscarriage, I was constantly living in fear. I didn’t share my pregnancy like I did the first time around. I was a nervous wreck. This also contributed to the limited photos I took during this time. I was sure if I said it out loud I would jinx it.

My pregnancy wasn’t easy. About 5 months in I found out I had gestational diabetes. This meant I had to watch what I ate very closely and monitor my sugars like 4 times a day. It was a nightmare because I’m really really not a fan of needles. The first time I had to take an insulin shot I made my husband do it. He pretty much stabbed me with the needle and I bled a little. Once I got over my fear, it wasn’t actually too bad. Definitely not something I want to ever continue but it was manageable.

On this particular day I was due for my last appointment at the diabetes specialist, about two weeks before my due date. I got to see my little bean during the scan and then sat around waiting for them to tell me I could leave. Except they didn’t. I was told to go to my delivering hospital, like right now. I wasn’t told why. I was freaking out. I asked if anything was wrong and again, I was told that the other hospital had all the info and to just head over.

One of my sweet sister-in-laws took me over and waited with me while I tried to get a hold of my husband. For the first time ever he wasn’t answering his phone. He just started working at a new company so I didn’t even know the number. I started frantically googling until I found one.  The receptionist answered and when I asked for him she sounded confused. Oh god! Was it the wrong number?! Turned out it wasn’t and I told him it was time. Understandably he was also freaking out as we weren’t expecting this for another 2 weeks at least.

He got there just after the doctors induced my contractions. I thought I was gonna do this the natural way but about 10 hours into labour I decided enough was enough, bring me the drugs sir! After the epidural things started going south. The doctor informed me that the baby wasn’t tolerating the contractions well and his heartbeat was beginning to drop. Cue emergency C-Section.

I was rushed to the operating room and at 12:37am on Friday, September 15, 2017 my little angel came into the world. I wish I could say we bonded instantly but I was groggy, tired and in pain. I was in and out of consciousness and throwing up. Not pretty. My husband got the first skin-to-skin moment with our little boy. I was a little jealous. I had been dreaming of this moment for a long time and it wasn’t what I envisioned. 

Nav, welcome to the world!

Looking back now, I think I learned some things you can’t completely plan for. Birth plans are a nice idea but flexibility is key.  Sometimes these tiny humans have ideas of their own and they teach you to live and let live. I’m okay with it now. It is what it is. The only part of that day that really stands out is hearing his cry for the first time then bursting into tears myself and laying my eyes on his perfect little face. Nothing else really mattered. He was here. That was enough.